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About me (and you)

You’re sex- and pleasure-positive—-in wonderment of the embodied joy and aliveness of being human.

You’re a fierce lover—-carrying the longing, grief, scars, and badges of your dreams and desires for a just and loving world.

Like you, I, too, live for that kind of embodied joy and fierce love.

As a certified sex and power coach, I’d love to co-create with you towards collective succulence.

I’ve spent the past 3 years,

working with dozens of educators, entrepreneurs, feminists, activists, coaches, artists, caretakers, homemakers, and other culture-makers.

The humans I worked with are reclaiming their sexual thriving and using it as tool and fuel to grow their integrity, relationships, projects, and businesses for a more just and loving vision.

In other words:


And if you're here, it seems like YOU are, too.

What gets in our way.

Being a sex- and pleasure-positive, fierce lover while surviving the current status-quo comes with some specific challenges:

We know ...

  • That pleasure and sexuality give us access to moments of embodied, joyful liberation.
  • That they're powerful reminders of better ways and more liberatory visions.
  • That neglecting them tends to lead to a sense of disconnection from our body, loved ones and communities.

While at the same time, we’re ...

  • Also being saddled with internalized shame from patriarchal systems.
  • Struggling to even rest in the midst of all the inner and outer work we’re doing for those visions.
  • Grappling to fend off that all-too-familiar cycle of depletion and burnout.

Nevertheless, ...

a lot of us tack on doing the work on our sexuality as an extra line on the to-do list (probably under self-care or self-love), and we press on.

(Thank you for being this fiercely loving by the way. You're awesome!)

I did the same thing, ...

hoping that when I get to do the work, it'll support my wellbeing and overall resilience.

IF ... I ever get to it, that is.

I'm a coach and feminist solo-preneur with familial and financial obligations who’s also living with chronic malaise post a deadly global pandemic and economic collapse. My plate was spilling over and my cup was emptying quicker than I can say 'orgasm'.

This is often true for fierce lovers.

We know what would be nourishing but we often end up not being able to utilize it fully to our benefit (the cards are being stacked against us) — so...

Let’s bake our sexual thriving INTO our fierce loving, instead.

It means reclaiming our sexual thriving

AND learning to use it


to grow our fiercely loving ways.

Here are a few examples:

I'm so here for you (and for so much more)!

Nurturing sexual thriving AND getting the essentials done.

Boosting your resilience AND key accomplishments. All-in-one.

“The end justifies the means” is how the saying goes.

Reclaiming and using our sexual thriving as the tool and fuel for our fierce loving in the world is about making the means

reflect AND rocket-fuel us sustainably towards the end.

Love Note #1:

This does NOT mean that we have to submit to any external ideals of sexual thriving.

Especially NOT to those rooted in sexism, patriarchy and neoliberalism that,

by design, have left us with shame and a sense of being perpetually flawed.

Reclaiming our sexual thriving

is about reclaiming it on our own desired terms throughout the course of our lives

in as many ways as we please.

Our gender identities, sexual orientation, age, body size, disability, preferred relationship structures, and life circumstances are essential elements that make up of our unique sexual thriving.

We can reclaim our own unique sexual thriving that's based on knowledge, bodily autonomy, consent, and pleasure.

Love Note #2:

This, also, does NOT mean that we have to contrive ourselves into marketplace ideals of being human.

Especially NOT into those depicted in shiny imagery of hyper-individualistic transformation, "empowerment", and success that have deceived us into this obsession with “fixing ourselves” — leaving us too burnout to organize towards systemic changes and rise equally TOGETHER.

Baking our sexual thriving into our fierce loving

is a radical effort to center pleasure, rest, and joy within our capacity for transformation and change.

To ground it in the embodied aliveness and power that can be found within human sensuality, sexuality, and relationships.

So that we’ll always remember that we can rise in collective succulence.

And This is Our Work TOGETHER:

  • reclaiming our sexual thriving on our own desired terms.
  • utilizing our sexual thriving as tool and fuel to grow our fiercely loving ways, relationships, goals, projects, and businesses.
  • sustaining our physical, mental and emotional resilience (lessening alienation, disconnection, gloom, and burnout)
  • integrating embodied moments of liberation into our work towards a liberatory vision—even as we’re living in this status-quo (let's not wait)

reclaiming sexual thriving and, WITH IT, making fierce loving more sustainable.

That’s why I’m here.

This is what I do.

I help people sexually thrive, and grow in their fierce loving — so we can have more moments of liberation WHILE co-creating a world where we ALL thrive.

Because we are the fierce lovers and we're embodied, joyful, and resilient.

I’m so excited to invite you to check out my coaching programs.


Let's get REAL about, sex, love, and justice.

These days, like most days, I desire more pleasure, ease, and grace in my fierce loving.

And when there don’t seem to be any accessible in this f@#$%-up status-quo, I soften and grieve into the reality of my human experience — tethering myself to the love inside.

Often, I attach an extra string of hope: may the moment soon pass, and with any luck, stoke the flame so my loving can burn just a tad hotter.

My chosen archetype is the Succulent Femme Fatale. It’s my mission to support as many of us so WE could burn it all down in orgasmic fire: fatale to anything standing in the way of sexual thriving, love, and justice and rise from the ashes together in collective succulence.

Oh, call me Estee.

Full disclosure: my formal name is actually Helvi Lystiani.

I've been called Estee for as long as I can remember including by my parents (hence Rasa Estee as my professional moniker).

For your discernment, I invite you to read about my methodology, credentials, teachers and formative influences, plus feminist business practices.

I get fascinated and I can’t get enough.

Thankfully, my fascination has so far led me to actually begin synthesizing the experiences of my 20s and 30s through the studies of sex, love, and relationship plus feminist entrepreneurship.

I can’t and won’t claim to know any answers but I can definitely offer you my fascination, patience, and presence (in addition to my skills, insights, and resources).

I’m always inspired and galvanized by my clients: all that sexual thriving and fierce loving energy from all over the world! OW. YEAH.

I'm divesting from the gender binary constructs that uphold sexism, transphobia, and heteronormativity.

In my coaching, we’ll (re)view, (re)understand, and (re)celebrate qualities, traits, quirks, and tendencies as they are without rigid association to binary, polarity, or categorization that are inauthentic to YOU.

We’ll (re)claim what it means for you to sexually thrive and fiercely love as a human being on your own terms; ever-expansive and ever-evolving in the vast universe of human sexual expression.

I get fierce and I’ll get fierce for you ONLY IF you ask me to.

Spending my 20s in national and international activism, I learned to be a creative grappler and doer.

I believe that you and I matter because we're here, in the fabric of the Universe; so interconnected and interdependent that NONE of us are "self-made".

Together, you and I will celebrate and co-create a path towards your desires. With gentle courage, we’ll meet any perceived barriers with an understanding of the social and cultural forces that helped create them.

Then, and only then, and with deep compassion and wild creativity, we’ll begin to address your individual mindset, personal responsibility, and accountability.

To hold your hand through your journey of transformation is such a tremendous honor and privilege; it’s an absolute pleasure.

I'm a wellness advocate, NOT a wellness influencer.

Spending my 30s in the modern, and predominantly white, yoga and wellness industry, I learned to develop personal sustainability skills so I can be more resilient in my fierce loving.

For five years prior to the pandemic, I held classes and workshops for over a thousand people people from all over the world at Bali’s largest yoga and wellness center.

This phase gave me an evolving capability to look for embodiment. To co-create a consensual and potent container with another: patiently inquire about their unique situations; observing their body, mind, breath, and emotions, before offering a customized set of tools.

I believe in wellness for all and that it's co-created within relationships and communities instead of by power-hungry gurus or some ideal of spiritual self-sufficiency. I’m also pro-science, pro-vaccine, and my business supports national and international COVID-19 relief efforts.

Together, we’ll look at evidence-based information, ancestral traditions, personal anecdotes, and your own lived experiences to co-formulate a bespoke coaching journey for you.

My feminism is inclusive but isn’t North America-centered.

I’m a cishet Indonesian woman (she/her/hers) from a Javanese-Muslim family who grew up during a 35-year dictatorship, and through a student-led peoples' movement for democracy.

I've been bilingual (in Bahasa Indonesia and English) since I was 11, and have travelled the world for work and pleasure.

I currently study and coach from bed in my family home; slightly embarrassing my supportive parents.

I watch British comedy and whodunnits plus K-dramas, dance, sing, self-pleasure, and plot feminist shenanigans with my sisters while dating and building my business through perimenopause with the support of HRT.

I focus my critique on systems, not people. I’m thankful to be able to keep learning and iterating in my lifetime. #wewillnotcancelus


and this entire page and website are CONSIDERABLY inspired by Kelly Diels and her amazing work #WeAreTheCultureMakers.

Thank you, Kelly Diels!